"You would've been enough BUT,"
You would've been enough but I couldn't admit it.
You would've been enough if I wasn't so timid.
You would've been enough if you didn't have children.
You would've been enough if you ain't catch me slipping.
You would've been enough if you would've let go
You would've been enough if your pace remained slow.
You would've been enough but now we'll never know.
You would've been enough but now its time to let go.
Does enough equate to ordinary or does enough go hand in hand to extraordinary?
You would've been enough if you didn't know yourself.
You would've been enough if you never asked for help.
You would've been enough if you never said you needed me.
That way it could've been easier each night for me to sleep.
You would've been enough but you were just too nice.
You would've been enough but you were too filled with pride.
You would've been enough if you would've let me run it all.
You would've been enough if you weren't so big and I wasn't so small.
You would've been enough if you would have let me make all the calls.
You would've been enough but you just ain't play your part.
You would've been enough if you could just follow directions.
You would've been enough if you weren't always second guessing.
You would've been enough if enough were truly a thing.
You would've been enough but now you wont get that ring.
You would've been enough, enough just enough for me.
You would've been enough if you would have only taken the time to see.
You would've been enough but almost is never enough.
F.E.A.R = False Evidence Appearing Real.
Asalaam Alaikum which means peace and blessings. I'm sure we have all heard the Acronym F.E.A.R. When I first heard that statement from a colleague I thought it was very corny. I thought that the person was just saying some new trend from among the people. So I decided to never catch myself referring back to that. Yet if you are taking the time to read this blog post then I'm quite sure you are from among the crowd of those whom I've been reaching out to, in order to promote myself, my purpose and my mission. So I inevitably had to face what I did not want to ever, ever, ever admit was FEAR. Growing up I was always a straight forward woman. I was what many would call very blunt. Some people appreciated this about me, while others didn't. I remember hearing that the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan was calling for 10,000 fearless and I just swore that I was one of them. Until Allah began to test me. I automatically assumed that how he would test me would be along the lines of whether or not I could tell somebody off when they were dead wrong. Or if I could endure a real battle where maybe I would get hurt. In that case I was the most fearless person I knew!! Yet I didn't ever think that Allah would test how fearless I was in the area of business. It just never occurred to me. Yet as I sit here typing it makes me think about how Allah says "My thinking is not your thinking" My thoughts come from above, while your thoughts come from below". I thought that doing for self would be so easy until I had to overcome those False, Evidences which appeared to be so REAL. Allah has shown me that I have allowed these fake ideas of how a person should be and act get in the way of my true purpose and potential. I was created to love and care. I was created to express and guide. Yet sometimes I would be told that I was overextending myself, or that it was just too much. Yet the more that I extend myself the more that Allah is blessing me. The more that I become uncomfortable the more that I am finding what makes me comfortable. And as of lately I have looked my fears HEAD ON and they have done like Satan when you stand up to him, they have Fled.! I don't know how long they will remain gone but I'm here to tell you I'm willing to get up each time to stand back up if i get knocked down. Nomore False evidence will be allowed in my life from here on out. From here on out the only thing I can make way for is the TRUTH! InshAllah you will take the approach to overcome your fears as well! Peace and love!
The practice of spirituality enhances your growth as a human being. One of the things widely understood is that an inevitable part of life is growth. Spirituality can help you grow in more than one way. Some of the ways that spirituality can help you grow is mentally, emotionally, morally and financially. Our ability to make good decisions and effectively live righteous lives, depends upon our constant application of our spirituality. Spirituality as defined by the oxford dictionary is the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things. Thus spirituality doesn't have to be labeled under any predetermined religion. As long as you are aware of you spirit and soul and care for the constant development you can label yourself spiritual.
Although I am only a 23 year old woman, I and many others consider myself a very deep spiritual being. But as you could imagine I did not become this way overnight. My life as a juvenile, foster child, teen mother demanded that I mature. Yet age did not define my growth. I remember someone saying to me long ago. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." The more years I obtained did not qualify me in regards to my spirit or soul. I constantly found myself running into the same bad habits. The same bad feelings and emotions time and time again. It was not until I decided to dive deeper into my spirit, my soul, my purpose that I began to see growth. I remember seeing myself not react to the things that once triggered me. I remember seeing myself begin to evolve in ways I never could have imagined.
My realizations of the benefits of the application of spirituality are very widespread. The more that I delve into applying myself the more that I grew. I became a better mother, student, teacher and servant. If you felt inspired to read this then either your spiritual or want to become more spiritual. I am here to encourage you to move forward into your search and application in order to be a better you.
Not long ago my 23rd birthday passed, June 2nd was the day. I felt so refurbished but brand new at the same time. I was no longer with the man who i thought i would spend the rest of my life with but it was my birthday so i knew my life was to continue. I'm a very introverted person despite the multiple forms of social media i use. Despite the many live videos you see me produce. I consider myself very isolated. As a matter of fact its 10:23 pm and i cant sleep because the reality of my loneliness has finally kicked in again. I'm saying all this to say that as a woman reflecting on her life growing up in foster care. Who fought off mentally physically and emotionally abusive parents. A woman whose life has been spared more times than i can remember. I can honestly say that self pity is the worst pity. It sounded so cliche when i first thought of it as a title for this blog. Yet the more i marinated on the subject the more i had to realize it was perfect to speak on for today. I remember hearing that Beyonce only allows herself one day to feel sorry for herself. Then she gets back to work. I truly wish to live by this saying. I have encountered so many heartache and pains that often times i try to pretend like it doesn't hurt. Lately i have become more bold enough to say that this shit hurts. lol. Nonetheless i am filled with the hopes that my life and circumstances will change for the better with the work that i am about to put in. I am not afraid to say that i am not perfect, i'm very far from it but i believe wholeheartedly that one day i will be. That one day when people hear my name or my story they do not cringe and run. Yet they hear my name and story and they smile and celebrate. Celebrate the progress i have made. The obstacles i have overcome. The beauty i have obtained from every heartbreak. I did it all with Allah. Allah helped me through it All. So truly i am not alone. Even when people try to portray me as that. I just pray and hope that one day Instead of so much pity. There will be a whole lot more parties. Asalaaam Alaikum.
When you have the time to sit back and relax. Do yourself a favor, evaluate where you are. Not who you are or who you want to be. Evaluate where you are. Not your environment or your condition but instead i need you to look at your mental state. Many of us were already in such a hustle and bustle mentally everyday when the world was "functioning". Many of us had been given a false illusion that if we do good and continue our master we might be able to make it to his favor. Yet that is not the case. America has fallen out of favor from Allah (God) a long time ago. Don't believe the lies that make it as though we are chilling while the world is shutdown. In all actuality during this quarantine things have been the total opposite. Our minds are being stirred up. They are being put to a bigger task than what we normally would be up to. You see there is no way to chill when your wondering. Wondering where you will go. Wondering what you will do. Wondering how you will do it. With so many questions now left in the air it can be easy for us to become mentally exhausted. So take a look and i mean a deep look into yourself. When we see what our worries are currently we see just how much we were not thinking when things were "normal." We see where we could have applied ourselves better. Where we could've trusted ourselves to jump out there and start up that business. Where we could have took the time to study some courses or anything else on our lists. Regardless of what could have been. Lets take the time to see what can be. Its a new day take a deep breath and see if you need to be one of those who focus more. Or if you are among those who are learning to let go more. Everything that we once felt was our norm and secure is now being brought to us blatantly that it is not. Be sure not to let your inner voice worry you beyond what is healthy for you. I speak on this because i am one of the victims to my own thought processes. During this COVID-19 pandemic i have worried myself drastically because before this i had a plan of what i would do to get my life kicked of. At twenty two years old all i wanted was to find a way to do for self. To expand my heart to those in need around me. Yet because of the state that we are in as a whole. I've come to find out not many of us are as sensitive to others as we could be. Take this time to manifest your peace. Take this time to improve your spiritual and emotional development. Most importantly take this time to pray to God. This is not the time to make judgements of others, this is not the time to spill your anger on others. Instead use these days to strengthen your weaknesses. Once applied things you couldnt have expected will begin to unfold in your life. Purify yourself and raise your mental vibrations. If you have any comments on what this qurantine has placed in you feel free to message me. Love you all and peace.
No matter what state it is that you reside in. No matter whether you travel or not. You cannot escape the inevitable. At some point it is sure to rain there is no question about that. The thing that i find most intriguing among many of my fellow millennial brothers and sisters is that even if they watched the weather channel and were fully aware that it would rain. It would still not change the way that they prepared for it. There could be a call for rain three days in a row. Still i would never think to wear rain boots. Living in Washington D.C riding the public transportation systems. Which required me to walk from point A to point B regardless of whether i wanted to get rained on or not. I noticed this all my life and never really questioned it. Even I sadly was a victim to this sort of behavior in my early teens. I could have thousands of dollars in my account. I could pass a aisle solely selling rain boots. No matter how many stores i went in the urge to buy rain boots never clicked in my mind. I mean maybe a nice little umbrella every once in a while. Even then i would be hesitant to buy one because i just knew i would lose it after the first or second day. I've experienced umbrellas flying backwards and breaking. So i guess the thought of adding boots to it just was too much to bear. Now walking into my early 20's with two children. A seven year old girl and a 2 year old boy. It only makes senses to me to buy these things in preparation for inclement weather. So it was only right to put the rain boots and umbrellas at the top of my list the minute we moved into a new apartment. We went a whole two weeks before we even saw a glimpse of rain. Yet the rain came and this time we were undoubtedly ready. Everybody had rain boots and umbrellas. I felt so good stepping out of my house knowing we were prepared. I even got the idea of buying us all rain jackets. At least 2 years ago the thought of throwing a rain jacket into the mix would have been ludicrous. Nonetheless we were all happy as can be outside knowing that the water couldn't affect us as much as it did before. The only thing that startled me was when i began to look around i noticed that everyone around me had on new balance, tiny sweaters and no umbrellas. I felt like an alien in my own community. Why did no one have anything? Not one child had on boots. Not one parent thought to prepare their child for this walk to school in the rain. Instead they took the rain like troopers. Feet soggy and all. I felt like i was in another world for a small period of time until i had a short memory of how that used to be me before Islam. Nobody prepared, nobody cared to be prepared. Was it intentionally? Or was this another example of how the white man had taken away our sense of self? No matter what it was. All i know was it moved me enough to finally start up my blog. Thus here we are. Asalaam Alaikum. (Peace be unto) Its Malika Rarkia leave any comments below. Much love. Xoxo